Up until recently if a couple with children divorced, provided the mother was fit to take care of the children, custody almost always went to the mother with the father holding only visitation rights and of course paying child support.
Thankfully, the rights of fathers have started to change and both parents are now looked at as being fit to care and provide for children and their development, whether that parent is their mother or their father.
This of course, could be the result of the increasing number of divorces and work from home dads or stay at home dads or even wives joining the military, which has led to an increase in fathers taking on the role of caregiver rather than breadwinner and provider.
It’s not perfect and there are some areas which still believe mothers should retain custody as the primarily nurturer and caregiver of children even if they can’t provide for the household financially. This means men may still have to fight for the right to have access to and be a part of their children’s rights.
There are some divorces where the fathers rights may not be questioned but if you happen to be in a divorce where you feel there is a good chance your rights are going to be questioned, then it’s time to look up a good family attorney.
A family attorney makes their living in helping to defend the rights of fathers, mothers and children when it comes to the law. They deal only in family matters such as child support, visitation, and custody issues.
There are certain rights which can’t be questioned or taken from you. There may also be rights you’re not even aware of. This is why it is important to have a lawyer assist you if there are any questions or contesting of your fathers rights.
Keep the following things in mind, even though there are more judges looking at fathers as being acceptable parents and primarily custodial holders the majority still automatically side with the mother in most cases.
Make sure to have a list of what you want in regards to time with your child and what you want to be responsible for in regards to caring for your child. There are some rights and responsibilities decided on by the court but the bond and love for your child is something nothing can take away from you.
Divorce is something hard on everyone involved but more so with children. Be sure to let them know you’re going to be a part of their lives just as you have been up until this point and they’re not to be blamed for any of it if custody and rights are contested. It is important for children to know they do not have to choose between their parents.
By: Matt O'Connell
There are many things you can do to avoid an all-out war in divorce court. Here are 6 tips to keep in mind even before hiring a lawyer (these tips may not help you if there are issues of domestic violence in your case):
1. Understand that information is key. This applies to not just the information on financial issues or basic facts, but also to information on the divorce process and alternatives to fighting in divorce court. Get it while you’re not under the financial and emotional stress of a court case; you might be able to use it to make peace somewhere along the way.
2. Depending on your relationship with your spouse, discuss with him or her which approach you want to take first: mediation, mediation together with a lawyer for each, or just get separate lawyers. The chances for each of you to be satisfied–not happy, just satisfied–are better and will cost you less if you try either of the first two options before getting.
3. If you have children, speak with your spouse and try to get him or her to keep them out of the divorce. This means not using the children as weapons against each other and always trying to think of what’s in their best interest.
4. If you’re going to hire a lawyer, get referrals from your friends. Then, interview at least three lawyers before you hire any one. Understand that a lawyer is there to help you and guide you, but you are always the one in control of the decision to fight or settle some or all of the issues at any time.
5. Assess your case at every step. if nothing works and you end up fighting it out in divorce court, try to make assessments as often as you can to see what can be settled, and what must be decided by a judge.
6. If things become too much for you and your children, consider getting counseling for you and them. Divorce, even the friendliest one, is usually emotionally difficult.
These tips are not a guarantee that everything will be smooth sailing in your divorce. But staying aware and involved in the process will lessen the frustration and hurt that could cloud your judgment to help you resolve the situation.
For information on what to expect in divorce court,visit
DivorceCourtReport.com.
By: Vivian Rodriguez
